What a bunch of whiners. Honestly.
When Dofasco Inc., Canada's largest steel maker, found itself in the crosshairs of a $4.3-billion takeover offer from Luxembourg's Arcelor SA, it wasn't long before the predictable hand-wringing started over Canada's failure to flex its muscle on the global economic stage blah, blah, blah.
Give us a break.
With a few minor exceptions -- Arcelor's offer for Dofasco; U.S. investor Jerry Zucker's bid for Canadian icon Hudson's Bay Co.; U.S. investor Carl Icahn's play for Fairmont Hotels & Resorts Inc., manager of the Banff Springs, Château Laurier, Royal York and other historic properties; U.S. liquor giant Constellation Brands Inc.'s bid for Canada's biggest wine maker, Vincor International Inc.; U.S.-based Kinder Morgan Inc.'s takeover of Terasen Inc.; and British drug giant GlaxoSmithKline PLC's acquisition of ID Biomedical Corp. -- Canadian companies are as fiercely independent and competitive as they have ever been.
'One massive smear job'
Where was Conrad Black, anyway?
When the former media baron failed to show for his arraignment in Chicago on eight counts of fraud, the rumours started flying.
Was he standing in line at Best Buy trying to get his hands on an Xbox 360?
Scouring pharmacies for Tamiflu?
Watching Citizen Kane?
None of the above, it turns out. Lord Black apparently hadn't yet found a U.S. lawyer, so the arraignment was put off until next week. But we didn't have to wait long for a glimpse of Mr. Barbara Amiel.
Two days later, he surfaced at a Toronto book launch, where he predicted "a complete vindication" in the $84-million (U.S.) fraud case. He also had some helpful words of encouragement for U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald.
"I accept that he's a competent prosecutor, but he doesn't know anything about this case," he said of Mr. Fitzgerald. "He just sweeps in for the press conference."
As for the charges against him and three other former executives of Hollinger International Inc., he said "there is no truth or substance whatsoever" to the allegations, and called the case "one massive smear job from A to Z."
Now we hear Lord Black might want to reclaim his Canadian citizenship, four years after renouncing it to smooth his way into Britain's House of Lords.
We're certain Canadians will welcome him back with open arms and a big wet kiss.
Goodale's holiday cheer
Ralphy the red-nosed reindeer, his mandate coming to a close, thought of a bright idea, to lighten up investors' loads.
All of the guys at Canaccord used to laugh and call him names.
They didn't want poor Ralphy wiping out their big trust gains.
Then in pre-election mode Ralphy came to say, "You guys have just won your fight We won't tax your trusts tonight."
Then all investors loved him.
And they shouted out with glee, Ralphy the red-nosed reindeer,
We will have a big rally!
Too soon for party hats?
Markets got the party hats out this week to celebrate the government's sudden generosity toward income trusts and dividend-paying stocks.
The S&P/TSX composite index rose 2.6 per cent, and the capped income trust index rocketed 7.8 per cent. That's the good news. The bad news? Even after this week's rally, the trust index is still more than 3 per cent below its record close on Sept. 19.
That, not coincidentally, was the day Ottawa said it would stop providing advance tax rulings to companies hoping to convert to an income trust structure, sending the trust market into a tailspin from which it has not yet fully recovered.
GM = General Misery?
Speaking of falling stocks . . . General Motors Corp. dropped a bomb this week, saying it will close or slash output at a dozen factories and cut 30,000 employees, including 3,900 in Canada, where it plans to shut its star No. 2 plant in Oshawa, Ont., by 2008.
The headline in the Detroit Free Press said it all: "General Misery."
Gold or a gun
In the apocalyptic world view of extreme gold bugs, paper currency will soon be worthless, the global economy will crumble and neighbours will engage in lethal hand-to-hand combat over the last remaining cans of Chef Boyardee ravioli.
But as the world descends into chaos, investors who had the prescience to load up on gold will be counting up their profits as the precious metal -- seen as a haven in times of turmoil -- soars into the stratosphere.
We can think of several uses for their newfound wealth: a new shotgun to ward off neighbourhood thieves, perhaps, or an armoured Humvee in which to cruise around town.
Gold bulls were feeling a measure of vindication this week as bullion closed in on the magic $500 (U.S.) an ounce mark, pushed higher by demand from jewellers, jitters about inflation and avian flu, buying by central banks and a scarcity of new mine developments.
With gold closing the week near an 18-year high of $495.90, hedge funds -- the guys who helped pushed oil to a record last summer -- got in on the action. With speculators piling in, gold could push through $500 any day now.
This may be the time to buy gold.
Or a gun. Your call.
$12-BILLION
AMOUNT BY WHICH FEDERALLY REGULATED PENSION PLANS WERE UNDERFUNDED IN THE FIRST HALF OF 2005, UP FROM $4-BILLION A YEAR AGO.
$428.62 (U.S.)
CLOSING PRICE OF GOOGLE INC. ON NASDAQ STOCK MARKET YESTERDAY, UP 404% FROM THE SEARCH ENGINE'S $85 INITIAL PUBLIC OFFERING PRICE IN AUGUST, 2004.
0.5%
AMOUNT BY WHICH CANADA'S CONSUMER PRICE INDEX FELL IN OCTOBER FROM SEPTEMBER -- THE BIGGEST MONTHLY DROP IN TWO YEARS -- REFLECTING LOWER GASOLINE PRICES.
5 a.m.
THE TIME WAL-MART OPENED ITS DOORS YESTERDAY TO MEET THE CRUSH OF POST-THANKSGIVING DAY SHOPPERS AT ITS U.S. STORES.
© The Globe and Mail
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