News from The Globe and Mail
Practice makes perfect at social events
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
When senior executive Wayne Foster advanced to a new position that required him to attend business receptions nearly every day, he worried about how to handle himself to always make a positive impression on potential clients and contacts.
To avoid mistakes, he went so far as to get formal training on how to work a room --and make it work for him.
Since then, "I've become a lot more confident. With practice it becomes almost innate," says the chief information officer of the Frouin Group of chartered accountants in Ottawa, as he headed for a diplomatic reception in the nation's capital last week.
Business social events, from cocktail receptions to corporate parties and other gatherings, are a prime time to meet and greet everyone from new contacts to clients, suppliers, fellow employees and the boss, says Diane Craig, president of Image International in Toronto and Ottawa, which trains executives and politicians in etiquette and public image.
And learning the art of flawlessly "working a room" in such gatherings can give your career a boost, image coaches say.
But it takes practice and planning to avoid having such gatherings become a nerve-wracking round of miscues and awkward discussions that can leave a negative impression, Ms. Craig says.
"It's called working a room, because it is a lot of work," she adds.
So how do you work a room to your career advantage?
Ideally, you should start to organize days ahead of the event, advises Linda Allen, a partner and co-president of Image International.
The first assignment is to find out who will be at an event. "The guest list is not a secret, so ask for the list of attendees," she says.
This is especially important if your company is hosting. It will help you avoid serious gaffes, such as forgetting the name of a long-term client or not having followed up on a question you were asked in a previous encounter, she says.
Next, decide how you're going to introduce yourself. "In addition to your name and title, you want to give the person you are meeting an idea of what you do and something about why you are at the event, all in 10 seconds or less," Ms. Craig suggests.
For instance, are you hoping to get tips about increasing performance or finding out about new products? That gives the person you are meeting something to talk about and get a conversation started, she explains.
By all means, try to find a conversation topic other than the weather, she adds. "Really, you should be more creative. Check out a newspaper or television news before heading out and prepare a few small-talk stories you can tell," she recommends.
The final prereception imperative is to "eat before you go."
"Why are you going to be there: to meet or to eat? You weren't invited because you were thirsty," Ms. Craig says. "Time counts. This is your opportunity to meet people and promote yourself and your business, so don't waste your time in the buffet line."
Holding food and a drink is also a distraction and doesn't leave a hand free for shaking, she adds.
When you are ready to make an entrance, "most people check out the bar and the buffet first, but the smart person looks for someone they know," Ms. Craig says.
Look around and don't get flustered if everyone seems to be gathered in groups, deeply involved in conversations, making you feel like the odd one out.
Rather, to get yourself invited into a discussion, try to make eye contact with someone in the group, preferably someone you know who can introduce you, Ms. Allan suggests.
Conversely, if you are already part of a group, remember the common courtesy of acknowledging someone standing at the fringe and invite him or her into the conversation, she adds.
One problem during the swirl of introductions in a crowded reception is to remember the names of people. A good tactic when a new arrival needs to be introduced is to say: "I don't believe you two have met, have you?" Ms. Craig suggests. "This will prompt the two people to introduce themselves to each other, and the mystery is solved."
Now is the time to show that you've learned the secret of the handshake.
"The most common mistake people make is to think of a shake as strength competition," Ms. Allan explains. The correct handshake is a momentary press, not a crush. A tight grip on someone's hand can be a painful introduction and can leave your hand throbbing by the end of an evening.
Exchanging business cards is another ritual that can either make or break a great impression. Ms. Craig's suggestions:
Make sure you have an ample supply of cards, and take more than you think you'll need. "It is surprising how many people forget to check and have to apologize all evening."
Use a card case with two compartments, one for your card and one for cards you collect, "Otherwise it's oh, oh, this is not my card this is somebody else's card," which makes you look sloppy and unorganized.
There are also right, and wrong, ways to present a business card.
It's always best to ask for someone's card before you offer yours; otherwise, you might appear pushy, Ms. Craig says.
Make sure the card is turned so the person you are handing it to can read it, because it's awkward for someone to have to turn it around, she adds.
When you receive someone else's business card, look at it for something you can make a comment about. Does the person have an interesting title or does the card have an unusual logo? Asking the person about what you've noted shows you are paying attention.
The end game -- breaking off from one conversation and moving on to another encounter -- is all-important for making sure you move around and make contacts.
"A good escape tactic is to introduce someone else into the conversation and then say you really must be moving along. But don't just abruptly leave," Ms. Craig says. Instead, ease your way out by paraphrasing what you were talking about for a newcomer, to show you were paying attention and interested in the discussion, she recommends.
End on an optimistic note with a greeting such as "Good luck with the project."
Your overall strategy in circulating the room should be different depending on the purpose of the event, Ms. Allan says.
If you are working a room at a holiday party, for instance, you want to meet and greet all your clients and suppliers.
"The absolute worst case is to have a party and have everyone eating and drinking and the clients are in the corner by themselves," Ms. Allan says. As host, pay attention to make sure that nobody is left alone and everyone is mingling.
If it is a networking function or a social event at a convention that you are attending as a guest, you'll want to create and build beneficial contacts. "It's important to 'qualify' your contacts as much as possible so you are not just gathering a pile of meaningless business cards," Ms. Allan says.
"Remember, these are skills that are not always intuitive. Unless you plan and practice regularly, it's easy to forget."
But it is worth the effort, she concludes. "Presenting a first and lasting impression that is polished and poised can mean career success not only for ourselves but for the companies we represent."
Mr. Foster says he takes such advice to heart. He still runs through a mental checklist before every event.
All the right moves
Want to work a room to your career advantage? Here are some tips from Image International to make the right moves, and the right impressions:
Do your homework: Ask for the guest list and the appropriate dress for the occasion.
Write your script: Think up a quick introduction that tells people your name and rank, but also something about you that can start a conversation. Have a few conversation starters on a topic other than the weather.
Come prepared: Make sure you have an ample supply of business cards. And have a snack in advance to keep your hands free and waste no time at the buffet.
Make an entrance: Greet the host and scan the room for people you know to start mingling. Don't head immediately to the bar.
Get involved: Make eye contact to move into a conversation. Introduce yourself, shake hands politely and ask if the person you are meeting has a business card.
Stay involved: Listen politely, try to add to the discussion and don't start scanning the room even if you are plotting your escape.
Involve others: Make room for others who would like to join the group.
Make a graceful exit -- remember this is a networking opportunity so don't stay affixed to the same group. Move on with an acknowledgment to everyone you've met.
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